Hey everybody!


I'm going to dedicate this blog to a specific topic. So there was something that kept on lingering on my mind since I started to see Shaun. I like the guy. I think given time he's the type of person I could fall in love with. Knowing that, I tried to end it before that could happen. I had many reasons, but mostly because we're an hour and a half away. The distance itself is not the issue, but I will post the conversation between Vasquez and me so that you'd understand. Yes, I tried to dump him, but it didn't work. Shaun and I had a conversation about it. Not too long after, I had a Facebook chat with Vasquez and he reminded me that: "There is always going to be what ifs, but there’s never going to be second chances." I hate how I teach him things and then he uses it against me. I think, at this point, I'm just a little scared of the unknown. It's probably the reasons why I'd been dumping people left and right. I think I just need to take a chill pill and let things happen. Here's how the conversation and conclusion of the issue went:


7:03pmMichael
Hey


7:03pmBilly
sup sup sup!
i was just about to call ur ass! miss u


7:04pmMichael
not much just got off of work not to long ago
went to the gym. have been there for 6 days in a row now


7:04pmBilly
woot! good for u
i went to the gym today too


7:04pmMichael
yay
how was it
did you do your steroid routine?


7:05pmBilly
it was ok... its different without u


7:05pmMichael
yea same here


7:05pmBilly
no... its too expensive... but did u read the latest blog?


7:05pmMichael
i think so. let me see if there has been a new one since
ooh haven’t read this one
stand by


7:06pmBilly
think i forgot to send out notice when i posted that blog


7:07pmMichael
yea
but cool
how the buddha did you manage to get your bills down to 180
where are you living?


7:08pmBilly
living with my friend eric 15 mins away from michael
i hired a lawyer to settle my debt
im gonna be fuckin rich
haha


7:09pmMichael
lol
nice
now you can start that club


7:09pmBilly
i wish
but clubs are coming up dry everywhere
its BAD business for everyone


7:09pmMichael
yea
true
who is the boy with that baseball cap in your first date with saun photos


7:11pmBilly
that's Miguel
Gordan's bf
Gordan is the white daddy in the brown shirt


7:11pmMichael
the older one?
the one you call daddy


7:11pmBilly
no
Daddy Mike is the one in the black shirt
and the Asian is Scottie
so... like... i tried dumping Shaun earlier... and like it didnt work


7:12pmMichael
and who is darrick kilbourn in your facebook profile and why is he friends with all these nguyen people


7:13pmBilly
he's a rice queen... that's like totally in love with me...
but im not into him... but he's cute


7:13pmMichael
Lol


7:13pmBilly
he's a libra... it'll never work


7:13pmMichael
he is cute
but weird he know two other nguyens


7:13pmBilly
its a common last name


7:13pmMichael
oh really?


7:13pmBilly
leave it up to him and mikey to find all the Nguyens in sac
yeah


7:13pmMichael
why did you try to break up with shaun


7:14pmBilly
well... shaun is totally great guy... i totally could fall in love with him. he's a leo. Leo and cancers are great together. but he's an hour and a half away
he told me str8 up he WONT move for a bf


7:14pmMichael
so?


7:14pmBilly
and i JUST got over the whole moving for bf thing


7:15pmMichael
well yea maybe not right now!


7:15pmBilly
in the end... EVENTUALLY... somebody's gonna have to make a move


7:15pmMichael
i would say the same thing
yea someone will but your too worried about that


7:15pmBilly
and i HATE san francisco
well... i'm not gonna invest 5 years into a relationship and then no one is willing to move. u know what i mean


7:15pmMichael
you try to break up with the guy because of his belief of not moving for a boyfriend right now
when in reality that mindset could change


7:16pmBilly
he told me he won’t do it


7:16pmMichael
someone told me that there are two in a relationship. not just one person
and people change
just because he says no now
doesn’t mean he won’t change his mind later
maybe he’s been hurt
maybe he is career driven


7:16pmBilly
but i can’t bank on something i don’t have
what if he never changes his mind?


7:17pmMichael
i have made such an impact on ronny that he is considering not moving to denver now


7:17pmBilly
and i don’t change mine?
but you're different... you guys are already in the same city


7:17pmMichael
there is always going to be what ifs.. but there’s never going to be second chances


7:17pmBilly
...ugh! i have taught you too well


7:18pmMichael
you need to just be with him
and enjoy the moment
and what you have
take your own fucken advice and stop being so selfish


7:18pmBilly
fuck damn it. it's just like hearing myself talk


7:18pmMichael
he already has to wait hand and foot on you
dont make him decide things right now so early in the relationship


7:18pmBilly
im not making anyone decide anything...
but i have my own heart to look after... and we all know why


7:19pmMichael
yes we do


7:19pmBilly
but... you're right... i suppose


7:19pmMichael
but right now its not being trampled on
your just not hearing what you want to at the moment
and ASUMING people never change
not everyone is chris


7:19pmBilly
...
u had to go there didnt you?


7:19pmMichael
its what your thinking isnt it?


7:20pmBilly
............. no.......
.................maybe


7:20pmMichael
:-)


7:20pmBilly
ok... fine... how can i not?


7:20pmMichael
your right
its hard
and like you told me its always going to be compared to him for the rest of your life


7:21pmBilly
but... you're right too... i should give it a chance.


7:21pmMichael
but you need to decide weather you let that grudge go or you hold on to it and make youself miserable and start over again thinking your never going to find that person
people change!
thats one thing i remember from you
they really do!
ronny has completely flipped a 180 on me


7:22pmBilly
yes... i taught you that... and now it's being thrown in my face


7:22pmMichael
i thought i almost lost him


7:22pmBilly
i should stop teaching you things...


7:22pmMichael
lol
yea because then you would never have to take your own advice


7:22pmBilly
and should just start giving you a lolipop everytime u have issues


7:22pmMichael
Lol


7:22pmBilly
yes... but i'm so GREAT at giving advice


7:23pmMichael
almost as good as i look
but not quite


7:23pmBilly
anyways... im so over talking about boys (i'll take your advice btw). How's the family in NM?


7:24pmMichael
not too bad.. mom is getting ready for her annual christmas party with boos and dollar presents. hahaha. dad got promoted at work but his pay didnt. sister is moving to japan in april


7:25pmBilly
WTF... why Japan?
the bitch is crazy!
they make sushi out of Americans


7:25pmMichael
her real dad is going to be stationed out there for 3 years and will get free school
lol in her case a prostitute


7:26pmBilly
oh... well.. make me some money then!


7:26pmMichael
even with her loks she wont make shit. yen is worthless


7:26pmBilly
oh! Didn't Andrew gave you some undies to give to me!
where the fuck is it?


7:27pmMichael
lol
no he didn’t


7:27pmBilly
Wtf


7:27pmMichael
all the models got 2 pairs of underwear a piece


7:27pmBilly
thought u said u had some for me
cries


7:27pmMichael
and robby the owner wanted something because she felt like she never got anything for herself


7:27pmBilly
why.... the... fuck... does she needs Andrew Christian undies?
GROSS


7:28pmMichael
because she wants to be a MAN


7:28pmBilly
once again... GROSS!


7:28pmMichael
Lol


7:28pmBilly
ugh! now i'm gonna harass Andrew for undies
ok...
next topic
Xmas
what are u getting the family for xmas?


7:29pmMichael
welcome to the world of lesbians where tools and strap ons stroll hand to hand down home depot aisles
dunno was gonna wake up early friday after thanksgiving and try to find some black friday deals.


7:30pmBilly
all i know is i know what to get you


7:30pmMichael
Btw


7:30pmBilly
yes?


7:30pmMichael
i think i am gonna change my phone company


7:30pmBilly
why?
dont do it without consulting me...


7:30pmMichael
i hate helio and they are taking away the ringbacks completel
i was pissed!


7:31pmBilly
you should wait AFTER xmas... because they have LOTS of sales


7:31pmMichael
well the only problem is everywhere i look they want a HUGE fucking deposit
verizon and sprint wants me to put down 200 dollars!


7:32pmBilly
well...


7:32pmMichael
on top of paying the bill
and a phone
at&t wants the same
tmobile wants 300