Dear loyal visitors, friends & family members,


I am sitting here in downtown Sacramento where I now call home, a place where I’ve always considered home.


I know I haven't blogged for the past week, but I'm sure to make it up right now. The evening of Saturday July 11, 2009; Vasquez and I attended Inspire Salon's grand opening of their new location. I was invited by my stylist Chris Valdez and his wife Christina. I thought I couldn't attend because I somehow confused that Saturday with my moving date so I declined the invitation. When I was made aware that it was not the day of my move, I asked Vasquez to accompany me. I initially was going to ask Fez, but I figured since it was dead given Biles would be there, he wouldn't feel comfortable. That boy put up such a front trying to play his feelings so nonchalant, but I see right through him. He gets jealous and cares more than he admits. I did later inform him midday of the event and why I didn't ask him to be my date. I, however, did give him the choice to come as my date if he wants and that I would love it more than anything if he was there. As I thought, he declined. Since they weren't expecting me, everyone was shocked. I was first spotted by Christina. We hugged and kissed, and hugged, and kissed. We walked around the beautiful salon and I got tackled by receptionist, Cora. I love that girl. She was sad that I was leaving. Vasquez and I grabbed some wine and in the corner of our eye, there were Biles and his group of friends (whom all at one point also were my friends). Biles had a shocked look on his face as I smiled at him. He walked over in my direction after a brief delayed reaction and he gave me a distant hug. "I don't want to mess up your nice outfit," Biles said. I was wearing my black BAK blazer, white Rebel Spirit shirt with black studded cross across my chest, white AE jeans and black Hugo Boss dress shoes. With him was the dirty chinky trick, Anthony that he got with before I even moved to NM. I barely gave him a glance. There was also Jeremy who stuck to the back and barely responded with a smile when I waved. I shrugged it off. Biles and I however had pleasant conversations and enjoyed each other's company. It was the first time that we have seen and spoken to each other since our parting. Vasquez has reserved feelings for Biles since he's still very protective of me. People are still having a hard time forgiving him, but they eventually need to for my sake because I have forgiven him and have clearly moved on. Vasquez and I agreed that after observing Biles' behavior, demeanor, conversations we've had with him and a private conversation Biles' had with Vasquez, we've determined that he's still not over me. I think it's because the way that I abruptly left him and gave him no room or opportunity for closure. This is neither here nor there. When we left to say goodbye, as I went into the back where he was, I caught Biles behaving like he always has. That man never changed. How unfortunate.


Vasquez and I then headed to Exhale for my final night there as a go-go dancer. I was so excited because when midnight hits, it turned into my birthday. It was a bitter-sweet night because it symbolizes the ending of something and the start of something new. Amazing how the Universe works. Regardless, I didn't care to over-analyze a wonderful night. I worked my ass off and my man, Fez was at the downstairs bar with his friends. I seen him get jiggy with it on the floor a few times and I rocked the crowd up on my territory. Apparently, some guy was hitting on Fez and he backed away from the guy saying, “I have a boyfriend…” I was taken aback by it, but I didn’t question. I embraced and enjoyed it for the remainder of our times together. Vasquez and the dancers did a surprise birthday celebration for me at Club Exhale. We joked two weeks prior my birthday that since I’m on steroids, I should get a huge slab of rare steak instead with candles on it instead of a cake. So that’s exactly what they did and sang: “Happy Birthday” to me.


The afternoon of July 12, 2009: Vasquez threw me a birthday/farewell dinner at his house where all the go-go dancers (except for AJ) and Fez attended. It was one of the best birthdays ever. No worries, no drama, no tears, just love. I got so drunk so early. I even puked as Tony had it on camera. I then passed out during my own party. It was awesome.


July 16, 2009: Vasquez planned a very creative day for me. He took me to all the memorable places we’ve been and reenacted the conversations and the memorable things we did those days. I was sitting right next to him as he sent me text messages of the same exact conversations we’ve had during those times and at those places. It made me want to cry.


As hours turned to days, days to weeks, I started my journey back home Saturday, July 17. I woke up next to Fez, know that would be the last time that I would wake next to him and make love to him. I packed my car then met Fez and Tony at Starbucks before I headed out. I was a dumbass and didn’t coordinate correctly. Biles came early to Starbucks than expected. Thought I coordinate it for a different Starbucks. So Fez got to meet Biles and I do believe he was very uncomfortable. Regardless, I got to see my kids and that’s all it matters. I desperately missed them. Rascal is the same and Chanel has gotten so big. I remember when we rescued her, she was so skinny and her ribs were showing. Now she’s a big Negro woman.


I made my way to Glendale, AZ and stayed with Uncle Todd for the night. He took me to Pho for dinner. I spent the entire night in the pool with my little cousin Ivaan. He’d grown so much. I also got to see my little cousin Jade. She’s going to grow into such a beautiful woman. The next day Uncle took me to another pho house for lunch, changed my oil for me and even showed me how to do it myself.

I then made my way to LA, CA. I arrived at 7PM and it felt great to be back in CA. I got to take one of my best friends in the world, Rasheada and her family to dinner at Dragon House. I was not impressed by the service at all. Our water weren’t filled and the fried rice consisted of rice, soy sauce and micro sized pieces of eggs. I told the server to take the fried rice and give me the house fried rice that more decent because I wasn’t going to eat nor pay for that. They were out of their mind to feed me that bullshit. Her husband, William and I stayed up late and drank beer. I woke up the next morning and he made us breakfast. Rasheada had to go to work at 4AM.


I then headed out around noon and arrived back in Sacramento at 7PM. Timineri met me at home and we walked to Jack’s Urban Eats for dinner. He had a turkey salad and I had a steak salad with mac and cheese. It was yummy. We then walked to the bars for a couple drinks and headed home. A couple muscle boys were shooting me the eye and I was not the least impressed or interested in all these new fags in my town.


Today, I enjoyed the whole day to myself. Did a little job hunting, took a long run downtown and now am just relaxing. Glad to be back home sweet home!