Yesterday was the beginning of a new journey, beginning of a new new story and perhaps beginning of a new person. You see, those of you that know me, whether as friends in real life or even through here on ModernRomeo.net, know that I seldomly have ever been single. As a matter of fact, the longest and only time I've ever been single was for six months after parting with Sammy and before seeing Christopher. I realized in the past couple of weeks I need to be alone. I need time to myself. I need to read like I always wanted to. I need to start working out like I keep telling myself. I need to turn my emotions into rhymes, rhythmn and notes again. All these things I need to do for myself and at this time, by myself. Like how seasons comes and go, before you know it the Albuquerque wind will carry me back to Sacramento where I belong. I do know the cruel weather will carry me and only me. There are things in life that we are not meant to escape, one if which is the inevitable. Instead of lingering on to each other and living with false expectations, I told Gil we shouldn't see each other anymore. Gil came on my luncj break to talk. We barely exchanged words and I had little explanations besides the fact that we're at two different places and differences paces in our lives.


Today, I woke up to a bad dream. I had a dream that I was one of the victimns/players of Saw-like situation. When I awoke to the Sunday sunlight rising on my face, I pulled the blanket closer to me while talking to my new friend McCraw. McCraw is a sweet jock (as I have homosexually catagorized him) from Sacramento that found me on myspace. I haven't been sleeping well and with the temporary graveyard shift that he's working, it gives me a goid friend to confide in late into the night. Apparently, he was on his way to Monterey with friends so it inspired me to drive fourty five minutes to a cute small town called Madrid to sit at a local coffee shop to read. The guy that made my coffee, Jimmy, clearly was hitting on me, but I ignored his hints. I exchanged some light messages with Timineri as I carried on with Orwell's 1984. As I ended chapter two, Timineri informed me that he posted a new entry to his blog. I'm so glad that he's finding various form of avenues to express his thoughts and emotions. His entry made me choke at the counter. It pains me to see him struggling and barely coping with his breakup. I regret that I'm not there to hold him through such trialing times. I love him so much. After I finished reading his entry, I continued reading my book. After hours of reading and sipping on Border Coffee, I walked over to my friends Corey and Creico's house to say hi. Corey showed me his movie he just completed and I loved it so very much. Creico was not feeling well so he went back to bed. I left Madrid at 6PM and made my way back to Albuquerque to have Miso Seafood Salad at CA Pizza Kitchen. Mmm... it was sooooo devine! After a light dinner I walked over to Borders to continue reading. I was looking at some cook books (I would love to own some given the fact that I love to cook) a guy that works there was shooting looks of interest. I smiled at him to be nice. He then circled the floor and slowed his pace around where I was standing so that he could catch my eye. He gave me an even more inviting smile this time. I politely, but dejectedly smiled and gave a quiet laugh back. I do believe he got the hint since I didn't see him again until I went home.


I'm now soaking in a hot bath gone cold. It is time for me to dry myself off, clean my room and I'm sure I'll be talking to McCraw before I go to sleep. Good night everybody.