Wow! I'd been so busy that I haven't had the chance to blog! So many changes all at once. So I recently moved out of Jeremy's over to Bo's new apartment. Although, I have yet to stay at Bo's even a night yet. I have been spending a lot of time with Gil. I came home from work last night and Gil had dinner ready for me. He made me chicken and steak fajitas with Spanish rice. It was soooo delicious. And my papi tells me he's not much of a cook. He's a good enough cook for me! We then had a really good conversation about us.


Things started to sink in and I started to think about the "what if's". As a Cancer, I tend to have a delayed reaction/feelings to things. While Gil was thinking about all the "what if's" in the beginning, it's only now starting to hit me. What if this is just pure infatuation? What happens after the fireworks are over? What if he doesn't like me after he gets to know the rest of my quirks? I'm protecting my own heart as I'm sure he is too. I can't afford to break anymore than I already have, but I'm willing to take a chance on Gil. I freaked the poor thing out today because he thought he did something to chased me away because I retreated into my own shell to work things out in my head so I wasn't as talkative today. I decided to come over to talk it out with Gil. I decided not to start out with a bad habit. Gil makes me comfortable enough to want to tell him what I'm feeling, what I'm going through and what is wrong. He makes me feel like it's not just Billy against the world. He makes me feel like I don't have to say "I'm ok!" when I'm really not. He does make me want to be a better man, a better friend, and a better partner. We talked out our feelings, confide our hopes and fears in one another, and both made a commitment to giving each other a fair chance.


Tomorrow, Gil and I will be having lunch together. After lunch we'll both go get tested. Gil and I still have yet to have sex, but we have decided when we are ready to make love to each other when the time is right, we'd want to know that we're keeping each other safe and there would be no barriers. After spending time with my man, Nicoleta and I will be sitting around to catch up. I haven't seen her since Christopher and I had dim sum with her at Ming's Dynasty. She's so shocked and disappointed from it all. After that probably do laundry and wait 'till my man gets home so we can watch Kill Bill 2.


By the way, I'm up at this hour because I took five Vojo energy mints today and I can't sleep. Although, I'm pretty much done with this entry because even though I'm not sleepy, I want to be next to my man who's sleeping in bed right now.